A big, stupid wolf lived with a little, sneaky fox. Everyone believed that the wolf bullied the fox into staying with him, but the fox could have left at any time. Every day the wolf turned up with broken bones and stab wounds and more and worse. The wolf liked to talk big but he would never catch the fox if the fox ran. That was how the wolf got hurt in the first place.

Here’s what happened.

One day, they were walking by a farm and the wolf said to the fox, get me something to eat or I’ll eat you. The fox thought about it and killed a lamb from the field and brought it back. The wolf ate it and wanted another, but when he tried to get a lamb himself, the sheep were prepared this time and made a ton of noise. The farmer heard and came out and cracked the wolf’s leg with a hoe.

The wolf made it back home where the fox was waiting. Why did you do that to me? The wolf asked. I didn’t do anything, the fox said. You shouldn’t be so greedy.

The next day, they passed a house. The wolf said, get me something to eat or I’ll eat you. This time the fox stole some pancakes from the house. The wolf was still hungry and tried to get more himself, but he only had three legs and when he stood up to grab some pancakes the plate fell. The farmer’s wife ran out and hit him over the head with an iron skillet. It was a non-fatal fracture so the wolf made it home.

You made it look so easy, the wolf said. The fox probably wanted to say, why can’t you just be happy with what I bring for you? He might have also wanted to say, stop hurting yourself. He definitely could have run away from the wolf by now but he didn’t.

The third day, the wolf said the same thing. Get me something to eat or I’ll eat you. The fox said that he knew the butcher’s basement had a lot of salted meat. The wolf said we’ll go together and stick together this time so you can get me out when I mess up.

They went together.

The fox hung by the exit watching the wolf eat. He knew what was coming, but he said, I’m not going to run away. I’m just guarding the door. He was planning to leave the wolf for dead but gave the wolf one last chance, because maybe there was some time before when they were real friends. He said, hey you fat fuck, why don’t we get out of here before someone catches us and breaks all of the bones you have left.

For some reason the wolf didn’t get mad. But he wasn’t going to leave until he ate all the salted meat. So when the butcher heard the noise and came down, the fox ran out the exit and the wolf wasn’t even looking. The butcher cut off his head and chopped him up and told the customers it was premium sirloin.